Desert-gift

"...they wandered in the desert and on mountains
and in dens and caves of the world." Henrews 11:38

Father,

Your loved people, Your chosen,
Desert wandered for forty years --
Tested, cleansed and prepared,
For the Land of Promise.

Likewise, at times,
Desolate sands
Blister my soul's feet --
The sands subdue hope,

As I climb my soul's mountains,
Thoughts without eyes
Drag through my soul --
"Father, where are You?"
"Where are You?"

Shame memories
Shoot from my soul's caves,
Hidden for years,
Now unsealed by doubt,
Proof:
"How could You forgive me?"
"Care for someone like me?"

My prayers?
Sand-dry, parched,
Spoken through broken windows.

Father,

I turn to Your Son, Jesus,
How You loved Him,
Chose Him as our Salvation-Gift,
Yet, both Garden and Cross
Bled His desert.

I turn to Your People, the Chosen,
How You loved them,
Chose them as our Salvation's-Gift-Source,
Yet, they desert wandered for forty years,.

With this before me,
I pray:
Grace me with the truth --
My desert is Your Love, Your Gift,
To test, cleanse and prepare me
For You,

With the fat of "I"
Burnt off.