'Twas the Night Before Christmas - With a Twist

'Twas the night before Christmas and what should appear
But gloomy ole thoughts of the coming New Year,
With Ma in her kerchief she'd bought just today
And mountains of presents straight from lay-a-way
I tossed and I turned and I crumpled my pillow
Feeling as frayed as a wind-ravaged willow.

Macy's and Wal-Mart and don't forget Saks
Presents galore were now breaking my back
The Jolly Old Elf spreading cheer at the mall
Fanning the flames of the kids craving dolls
But where was Kris Kringle when bills became due
Would Santa bring Daddy cash out of the blue?

All of a sudden I heard a loud clatter
I flew down the stairs to find ornaments scattered
Our cat had been climbing around in the fir
Which now lay atoppled, cat quite disturbed,
And me I just slumped to the floor near the grate
Munched on the cookies, considered my fate.

After awhile, slumber set in,
I roamed down the halls of the places I'd been
Things that I'd seen, people I knew,
Good times, bad times, all coming through,
My life on display just like cards being fanned,
The rifled array of the life of one man.

The next thing I know, I'm feeling quite jostled,
Morning, it seems, and here I lay wassailed
By wife with her coffee, surveying my plight,
Kids quite concerned with events of the night
But mainly quite miffed over cookies I'd plundered,
Worried that Nick would collapse from his hunger.

I lay on the floor, legs tangled in fir,
Crick in my neck, family a blur,
I see that my hands have been clutching the manger
Wise men have scattered with Fluffy's tail danger
I focus on sweet mantled angels above
And smile at my wife, "Merry Christmas, my Love!"