I'm not sure if this blog is one of ranting...or observation. Probably a little of both.
I am a woman, 63 yrs. old and widowed for just over 5 yrs. I can probably count on one hand how many times I've had a REAL date...I mean one that is planned and carried out.
I want to stick in here at this point...these are my observations and opinions and at times it will appear that I'm "generalizing" men's behaviors. I'm not. I'm sure there are a lot of good men in this world....I just can't seem to find any.
I'll admit that my social circle is very small and I am not inclined to find myself in situations to meet many men. Although I'm an admitted "loner", in social situations I am very social. I have a friendly "know no strangers" personna, good sense of humor, I've been called an "ice breaker" and to the best of my knowledge I'm liked by all. Yet even with all this, I know too that my "social skills" aren't 'up to par'. I was raised in a family that didn't socialize much and my conversational skills...the ability to ask people questions....is lacking. I listen, I chat...but I seldom ask questions...a skill I need to learn.
I need to say here too...I'm speaking of the older generation in referring to dating....those whose children are raised and on their own. Men who find themselves alone for whatever reason. I'm sure that both men and women who find themselves single at an older age also find themselves floundering in a world that has changed since they last dated....it can be a daunting place to find ones self in.
In my observation I find 2 categories...one is the man who is timid and "closed"...he will chat with a woman but his guard is up and he's drawn lines that can't be crossed. He may even display an interest in a woman but that's as far as he'll go. They're friends when they happen to cross paths but he will not ask for a date with her...not even for lunch.
These same men will comply if the woman makes the first move....say...."let's go for coffee"....he will agree BUT he never reciprocates. If he won't make the next move, she feels he isn't interested and she feels it isn't appropriate to ask him again....yet he may continue to show interest and maybe even mildly flirt with her but ask her out? NOPE!
The second category I will not say much about...this isn't the appropriate place for discussing "these kind of men". I will only say that they have one thing in mind and one thing only. They're looking for a physical relationship or more likely an intimate encounter and they are not interested in dating. Enough said.
In my observation of older men I've had the sad experience that they have been made aware of all that is offered them in the singles world...they have a myriad of choices among single women. Why pursue a woman close to their own age when they have a multitude of women 10-20 years younger to choose from? And how often I've heard the stories of older men with younger women that these same men who have gotten entangled with a younger woman then complain that these women end up being demanding, selfish, immature and often just looking for a sugar daddy? Well...duh!
On the other hand, I am pursued by men 10-25 yrs. YOUNGER than I am...what's with that??? I simply have no interest in younger men. I want someone who remembers the same things I do...at my age I like to reminisce. I prefer a "settled" life although I certainly am not ready for a rocking chair and lap robe! I find myself in that twilight zone of being...."too old to be young and too young to be old".
I find men my age are reluctant to make a committment....even to friendship, enjoying a woman's company on a regular basis for coffee, lunch, excursions to flea markets or whatever activity that would be fun. Well, I mean with a woman who isn't young enough to be their daughter!
And since this is my first blog here, I don't know how much "page" is available to use so I will stop here. I'm not even sure this blog will meet approval yet I think men need to know there are quality women that live a very lonely life just because we happen to be "mature" ....and that is sad. I guess it's a new kind of dating world now and I for one feel it leaves a lot to be desired.
B. David
