Nan's Calendar

by       Nan Forehand,   Statesville,  NC    

We can begin to see the everlasting glory of God when we realize that troubles help us to see our world for what it is; lacking perfection and short-lived.  We can ask God to give us the insight to look for what is permanent and eternal.

Sometimes we draw trouble to ourselves because of negative self thoughts.  I believe I am a recovering perfectionist, a recovering people-pleaser, a recovering negative thinker.  God has given me the insight to understand I can never be perfect this side of Heaven.  I placed such heavy burdens on my own self before I realized that I am a work in progress.  It's ok that I'm not perfect.  It's ok if I speak and someone doesn't agree with what I said.  It's not the end of the world for someone to disagree with me.  I still have respect and am still respected.  It's ok if my house isn't spotlessly clean all the time.  People-pleasing was a way to survive.  I lacked permission to please myself and to trust myself.  I realized at some point that I made decisions based on pleasing others.  Those motives and decisions were covert.  It was easy to become annoyed and hurt when my efforts to please didn't work as I planned.  I lived with so many fears and insecurities.  It has been a tremendous sense of freedom to have overcome so many obstacles that I, yes, I placed in my path.  I did it to myself, though I didn't have the insight to realize it at the time.  I created my own troubles through my negative self-thoughts.  No one was as critical of me as I was  of
myself.  It has taken years of practice to become a positive thinker and the blessings and ability to encourage others as a result of this daily practice are truly known only to God.  Only He knows how far I have come from the shell of a person I used to be.  My life before I met Allen was not one I care for others to see.  In sharing these snippets of my past with you, it is easier for you to understand how far I have come in my own personal growth, emotionally and spiritually.  I used denial as a means of protection.  Until I was ready to accept my reality, I was a fragile, insecure little girl in a woman's body.  At some point, through the Lord's love and Allen's love, I became safe and strong enough to cope with the truth of my past.  I stopped punishing myself for having denied my reality.
The people who interact with me today would be amazed if they only knew how far I have come and how much I have grown.  Through love, compassion, actively listening and encouragement, I am seeing and witnessing others grow and believe me, it is a beautiful sight to behold.
We are all recovering from something.  We are all a work in progress; a masterpiece in the making.  We are all beautiful.  We are all loved by our Creator.  We have the ability to love and to be loved.  Even in singleness, there are so many ways to give love and to receive love.  God gave us so many other ways to experience love than the intimate love between a woman and a man.  God is love and I sense God's love in so many ways.  Love is so much more than the romantic love we associate with this precious gift God gave us.  Love is an action word.  Love God, love others and love yourself. 

Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything. Ephesians 5:20